Easter Sunday Smorgasbord 3-23

• We start off this week with Big Head BALCO Barry Bonds* and MLBPA Head Union Thug Donald Fehr upset over the lack of offers for Big Head BALCO Barry Bonds* to play somewhere in the Major Leagues this season. Do these bozos really need it laid out for them? So what Big Head BALCO Barry Bonds* declares himself in shape and wants to play another season? Where in the CBA does it state that a player who declares himself in shape and wants to play the upcoming season MUST be offered a contract by a Major League Baseball Club? Good grief, I didn't know that MLBPA membership had an absolute right to a contract every season. Though what is conveniently left out of that article (in favor of fawning coverage, no the media doesn't have its own agenda) is that Big Head BALCO Barry Bonds* is currently under a Federal Indictment for Perjury and Obstruction of Justice. And while that indictment is in jeopardy right now; let's not forget the fact that Big Head BALCO Barry Bonds* is generally reviled in the Court of Public Opinion. Sure there are still a few people who like to hide their heads in the sand and pretend that Big Head BALCO Barry Bonds* has never been publicly busted for using steroids or believe his claim that he was duped; but there is only one market where Big Head BALCO Barry Bonds* does not get greeted with a loud chorus of boos and jeers and that is San Francisco. The Giants put up with the overgrown selfish brat for 15 years and have had enough of him no matter how many tickets he sold. Fehr would be wise to help Selig clean up the game instead of continuing to throw up roadblock after roadblock. (And these guys wonder why Congress keeps dragging them up to Capitol Hill...)
• Caps General Manager George McPhee openly complained this past week about the Phone Booth's hosting of the NCAA Tournament followed by the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus forcing the Caps onto the road for two weeks. While we agree with McPhee that a major tenant of the building deserves better treatment and more respect when it comes to scheduling, we couldn't help but notice that the NCAA is using quite a few NHL arenas for their Basketball tournament this year. In addition to the Caps, the Thug Ducks, Avalanche, Hurricanes, and Ning have all been forced into road trips by the NCAA this weekend. Next year, only the Flyers and Bruins will have late season road trips to contend with because of March Madness. However, the Caps will face the same problem that the Avalanche are facing this year should they make the playoffs because of the Frozen Four. The Frozen Four is in Denver this year and comes to D.C. next April, right after the NHL Playoffs begin. While the Caps had no role in the booking of the Basketball tournament into the Phone Booth, they did provide support to landing the Frozen Four for the Phone Booth.
• The U.S. Under 23 team fulfilled its mission of qualifying for this Summer's Olympic Games when they beat Canada 3-0 on Thursday night, but fell short of winning the qualifying tournament earlier today. I am curious to the format that declares a formal winner of a tournament where the real prize is not the tournament championship. The other interesting thing about the U.S. Under 23 team is the peaceful coexistence so far of Prodigal Son Freddy Adu and Head Coach Peter Nowak. The two famously clashed during their time with D.C. United and seemed to get along during this tournament. Could Freddy have matured in Europe? As speaking of D.C. United, they smoked an over matched Jamaican Club on Tuesday night to advance to the CONCACAF Champions' Cup Semi-Finals. It was D.C.'s second game of the season but their first at home. D.C.'s retooled lineup clearly clicked but the MLS Season is long and they have the SuperLiga and U.S. Open Cup to contend with too. Let's hope they have the gas to make it through everything this year.
• Well, the Maryland Men's Basketball season came to a merciful end on Thursday night with a 88-72 loss to Syracuse in the Second Round of the No Interest Tournament that was broadcast on ESPNU (Available only in sports bars around the country, though Thursday night, I'm sure they were all showing the NCAA Tournament). A special "Stay Classy" goes out to Orange Freshman Donte Green who took the occasion of the big win at home to bash Maryland Head Coach Gary Williams for not offering him a scholarship. What the native of Bhawlmuher can't understand is that both he and the team he wanted to play for met in a Not Important Tournament game. Had this been the Final Four, maybe his criticism of Gary would have carried more weight. But clearly Greene's amazing talents couldn't keep the Orange out of the No Interest Tournament this year, so why should we believe he would have done any different for Maryland?
• I figure the Gary Williams Watch will come to a conclusion one way or another about a week after the Maryland Women's Basketball Team's season ends. It isn't Debbie Yow's style to upstage a team that is currently in the spotlight like the Maryland Women currently are. She waited a week after Gary won his National Championship in 2002 to announce the hiring of Brenda Frese despite having a signed contract in hand before the men won the title. The women posted an unimpressive 80-66 win over Coppin State in the first round earlier today. We were surprised like everybody else to see them as a #1 seed and they didn't do anything today to show that they deserved the lofty honor. They'll have to crank it up if they want to beat Nebraska on Tuesday night.
• We're leaving Barrack Obama alone in this week's "Diversify or Die" Segment simply because he was having enough trouble spinning his Pastor's statements before he threw the woman who raised him under the bus this past week. Instead we'll note our complete, total, and utter lack of surprise and shock about the newest revelation of Former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer's "special friend" and the company she "worked for" before she met the Former Governor. I mean, how could such a fine, talented, and upstanding young woman like that do those kinds of things??? And who knew that her previous employer did illegal things like that???
• This week, the Caps will more than likely learn their playoff fate when they face Carolina on Tuesday night at 7 pm, the Ning on Thursday night at 7:30 pm, and Florida on Saturday night at 7 pm. All three games are on the road and are the final road games for this season. The Terp women as mentioned with face Nebraska on Tuesday night in the Cable Box for Round 2 of the NCAA Tournament. D.C. United opens up their MLS Schedule on Saturday night in Kansas City at 8 pm. The Nats end Spring Training this week with games against the Tigers, Cardinals, Braves, B.O.'s. The Nats open up the 2008 Major League Baseball Stadium and their new stadium officially next Sunday night at 8 against the Atlanta Braves on ESPN. President Bush is scheduled to throw out the first pitch at the packed house (and is likely to be booed mercilessly.) This also brings us to a special programming note. We will be attending that game next Sunday and will not be posting a Sunday Smorgasbord next week. The Smorgasbord will return on April 6th.
• As always folks, please send all comment, criticisms, questions, corrections, suggestions, and Easter Eggs to "capsnut" over at gmail dot com.